


Which Snape Reviewer Are You?

by Bridgette_Hayden



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack Memes, Humor, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-14
Updated: 2019-12-14
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:21:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21788953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bridgette_Hayden/pseuds/Bridgette_Hayden
Summary: The habits of reviewers are illustrated with Snape memes, reflection, and observational humor.  (This was created with Kirsten's meme prompt in mind, from For the Love of Severus FB group.)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 14





	Which Snape Reviewer Are You?

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing, make no money from this. JK Rowling is the God!!  
> Credit for the images are at the bottom of the page.

This is mainly for the writers. May you keep laughing and writing. You're not alone.

What Kind of Snape Reviewer are You? For most, it depends on the story, our moods, and how much sleep we’ve had. Observational humor has been used to make fun of the entire practice of reviewing. Have fun and laugh at all of us. No, the comments are not meant to be accurate or factual. They are entirely biased, whimsical, and exaggerated, just like fanfiction.

These get more positive as you go up the scale.

As you know, there were many sides and facets to our dear Potions Master. He was a very complex man. I’ve created a series of memes that point out various types of fanfiction reviewers, using the multiple aspects of Snape that we see in the movie version.

See credit list below.

**The Dissasfied Reviewer**

**18\. The Dissatisfied Reviewer** – You are so disappointed in the story, that you decide you’d be better off learning to write your own because apparently, no other writer is doing it the way you need it done, or will ever do it that way. (Most writers were once extremely dissatisfied reviewers.) You’re the Snape who has to work with Lockhart without killing him, and maintain a veneer of professionalism as you suffer through one more fic that isn’t living up to your expectations.

**The Satisfied Reviewer**

**17\. The Satisfied Reviewer** – Every aspect of the fic was pure joy and you say so. You’re the mythical Snape, who didn’t actually survive canon, but who is so wonderful that fans won’t let him die and continue to look for his greatness in fandom, in much the same way that every reader continues a quest to hunt down that elusive, mythical, great story that is always just ahead of them. Like Snape, “It’s out there somewhere.”

**The Complainer**

****

**16\. The Complainer** – You hated the story and you say you hated it. Why should you suffer alone? You’re not actually Snape, you’re Bellatrix Lastrange. She enjoyed inflicting pain as well. Cheer up, at least you’re beautiful. A bringer of misery and pain, but beautiful.

**The Punisher**

**15\. The Punisher** – You are a crusader for all things righteous, and you must make sure the writer suffers for the ungodly mixture of wrongs and foulness that dare call itself fanfiction. When you’re not bombing clinics, you keep track of wicked prose and inflict routine retribution through harassing comments. You’re not actually Snape, you’re Voldemort.

**The Control Freak**

**14\. Control Freak** – You point out where the writer messed up, whether it’s grammatical, factual, tags, or style, and wait expectantly for them to make the changes that you pointed out. You’re not actually Snape, you’re Hermione Grainger. Many writers welcome technical corrections, but insisting and tapping your foot while you wait for them to come, is kinda pushy. You mean well, and we love you, but you gotta understand, there’s a method to the madness, and you gotta let some shit slide because you can’t control the millions of moving parts in fandom. Let it go and forgive everyone who is not as strict and academic as you.

**The Stealth Reviewer**

**13\. The Stealth Reviewer** – You love it. But you don’t tell the writer. You say nothing. Ever. You’re not actually Snape, you’re the Invisibility Cloak.

**The Troll**

**12\. Troll** – You don’t even care about the story, you just like getting a reaction. If you can instigate a fight or hurt feelings, you’re happy. You’re not actually Snape, you are literally a troll.

**The Aggressive Malicious**

**11\. Aggressive Malicious** – Your only goal is to use words that you hope will destroy the writer’s confidence. You are miffed that their stories keep popping up and fans keep liking them. You’re not actually Snape, You’re Delores Umbridge wearing a horcrux.

**The Passive Malicious**

**10\. Passive Malicious** – Not only did you not like the story, you took extra time making sure the writer knows that you didn’t like it. That may not be helpful, but it makes you feel better. That’ll teach the writer not to waste your time in the future. You’re not actually Snape, you’re Lucius Malfoy. That’s not so bad, he’s pretty hot.

**The Bottom Dweller**

**9\. The Bottom Dweller** – You ignore what kept you reading and talk instead about everything that bothers you. You think you’re being engaging, yet the writer is genuinely confused as to why you bothered reading. After some back and forth, it’s discovered that you are actually enjoying yourself after all. Bottom dwellers tend to focus on the sludge, and possibly do a tremendous service by helping writers clean up confusing plot points, but they’re missing out on so much more. You’re not actually Snape, you’re Colin Creevey and your communication skills need a little work. Seriously, watch the extended edition of Colin’s introduction.

**The "Honest" Reviewer**

**8\. The “Honest” Reviewer** – You tell it like it is. You don’t pull any punches. You pride yourself for speaking the truth. The only problem with that is, your truth is made up of your limited experiences and observations, which vary greatly from what others perceive. So there is no absolute truth, there’s only what makes sense to you, and that isn’t really what the writer should be concerned with. You’re not actually Snape, you’re Aunt Marge. Actually, you could also be Vernon Dursley.

**The Politician**

**7\. The Politician** – You measure creativity by rules, regulations, cultural statistics, and the popular vote. You cannot process pairings and content that do not conform to “acceptable” fantasy and must point this out to the writer. You protest in favor of conformity, and boycott all who refuse to write under your regime and standards. You’re not actually Snape, you’re Cornelius Fudge.

**The Reasonable Reviewer**

****

**6\. The Reasonable Reviewer** – If you like the story, you say so. If you don’t like the story, you don’t. No point in two people being disappointed. You’re that Snape who delivered Dumbledor’s message to Harry without insulting him, if you don’t count walking away and ignoring Harry’s question afterwords.

**The Practical Reviewer**

**5\. The Practical Reviewer** – You hate the story. You say nothing. You seek no retaliation for having your time wasted. You simply go and find another story. This resembles The Reasonable Reviewer, with the exception of knowing that you absolutely hated the story. You’re that Snape who countered the Sectumsempra spell to heal Draco, and took no action against Harry for using it.

**The Confused Reviewer**

**4\. The Confused** – You’ve read twenty chapters, eagerly waiting for more, and yet, you’re still not sure how you feel about it. You need more time. You’re not actually Snape, you’re Neville Longbottom. It took the whole story for his clarity and boldness to come to light.

**The Giver**

**3\. The Giver** – You just want to give something back, so you make sure you leave a comment. You don’t put a lot of thought into it, but hey, you left something in return for something. You’re not actually Snape, you’re Harry Potter. Not really willing to put any brain power into it, but you like to see people happy.

**The Appreciator**

**2\. The Appreciator** – You know what it takes to turn a blank page into a journey, so comments to the writer are careful to begin with what you _did_ like. You know the content can’t be tailored to make every reader happy, so you stick with what was done well, knowing full well that the writer has no control over your personal qualms. You often write yourself, so you just want the author to know you’re cheering them on. You’re that Snape who, after giving Harry and his friends hell for years, steps between them and a werewolf, risking his life to keep them safe. You show honor when it’s time to show honor.

**The Master Reviewer**

**1\. The Master Reviewer** – You are the Potions Master. You understand the power of words and you know how to use them. You are astute. You are usually a writer at heart. You know that the story stands on top of everything the writer has ever experienced, and there’s no way it could ever be anything other than what it is. You jot down notes while you’re reading, so that you’ll have a sure-fire list of awesome reactions to comment on, and let the writer know that, at all cost, they must keep writing. You know they will find fuel in your words. You know how important the movies in your head are, and what it feels like to plug another person into that theater, where there are truly no limits to what you can feel. Any character can be what you want them to be. This art must not be lost to ridicule, degradation, or lethargy, and your review is a one-person support program to reward diligent imagination.

You know that every masterpiece on the planet, is nothing more than someone’s fantasy written down. It takes f**king balls to put your fantasies in a public arena. You are Snape, playing both sides of the cause, because your genius straddles both worlds, and you do your part to show appreciation to as many great writers as you can, with your comments. You can’t save them all, but you will not let a great story go un-reviewed if you can help it. After all, you are unsure of where your next great fic will come from, and know that it must ultimately come from that person who is struggling to find the right words. If the writer doesn’t carve the path, readers have no where to go. You inspire the writer to keep carving out new places to go and new stories to tell. Well done.

* * *

In case you're interested, here's the [Drarry version](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21816943).

**Credit to Warner Brother for all the images. Credit and source link for "Satisfied Reviewer" image: Snape "Always Lives" :**

Source link: https://www.google.com/search?sxsrf=ACYBGNTehCl05-_K-8S0qBA-JDED-JWzmg:1576293926420&q=alan+rickman+snape+smile&tbm=isch&tbs=simg:CAQSlQEJBEYWok9MTmAaiQELEKjU2AQaAgg_1DAsQsIynCBpiCmAIAxIo8BiPDqIbxh-kG8Ib2B_11HvQO6xiyL6E70S-9O40wqSWRMLY7nzvILRowVTntbf0PQ2TYRC7Bcj9Geu3NZd91NbO4rFY9z4yiP7lupGztU7YDr08GDmqwDRBmIAQMCxCOrv4IGgoKCAgBEgQd29YKDA&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwicw668mLTmAhXaXM0KHWAIC5gQ2A4oAXoECAcQKA&biw=1366&bih=654#imgrc=3Ew0UULkIVWKrM:)


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